Hello hello friends!
Well as many of you know, I was recently wed to the greatest man. His name is Jonathan and God bless him for choosing to go on this adventure with me. So besides it being the best day of my whole life...the months leading up to it were...just a mess most of the time. I was a mess, my parents house was a mess..I constantly had hot glue somewhere on my person and kraft paper scraps were my best friends.
Before I got engaged I realized that wedding planning was not going to be a walk in the park. But I really could never have prepared myself for exactly what I was getting into. This post may or may not help you, each wedding is different and therefore each planning experience is different, but if you are open to some insight ... lend me your eyes and hear me out!
1.
Things/ideas will absolutely change, and that's OK. Just like with any project, the first draft is rarely identical to the final draft. Things have to be modified and altered. When I originally sent out my "will you be my bridesmaid?" letters, the colors for my wedding were a wide array of neutrals and my BMs were going to wear all different colored neutral dresses. By the time my wedding actually happened, gray was the only consistent color in my wedding and was the only color of my BMs dresses. I literally changed what they were wearing three times. Luckily my friends RULE and it was never really a problem. I also changed what the groomsmen were wearing ... and the flowers did a complete 180 from the beginning of planning to the end of planning. Don't feel pressured to stick to something you've chosen if in the end it isn't what you really want. Don't let any decision be final until you want it to be (or until you're so tired of making decisions that you just let it happen).
2.
Tread lightly when it comes to Pinterest and wedding blogs. Now I love love love these sources. Don't get me wrong! However, they can cause a lot of second guessing and buyers remorse if you aren't careful. Once you've locked down a theme you love, don't go searching for another theme. Have it set in your mind "this is my theme, i love this theme, i will not change this theme." Trust me, I could plan a wedding for every season, with different colors, different themes, a different dress etc. and would love them all the same, but we choose one day, and we have to make sacrifices. Sacrifice doesn't mean regret, it just means narrowing everything down to one day that you will love, regardless of the few things you weren't able to do/have/buy/make. Use blogs and Pinterest when looking for inspiration pre-wedding planning, where to purchase supplies during planning, and then just delete your board post-wedding and don't keep checking your wedding blogs religiously because YAY you're married and don't need that stuff anymore! Rejoice & reflect on YOUR day. Don't compare it to others days.
3.
Being a people pleaser will be the death of you. Cut. It. Out. You are NOT being a bad person, you are NOT a bridezilla, you are just trying to make this as chill as possible, and that may mean making decisions that don't accommodate everyone and honestly you just have to get over it. It sucks, but if you are prepared for it, it'll suck less.
4.
People will let you down. Times will be rough. This one a big one for me. I was not prepared for being disappointed in people. In my mind it was a really important time in my and Jonathan's life. A once in a lifetime time. And I expected everyone to realize that, and to therefore be present and overly enthusiastic about making me and Jonathan happy. Well, that wasn't always the case, and it wasn't necessarily fair for me to think it should have been. When you marry young like I did, not everyone gets it. Not everybody knows how important it is to you that they come to your showers or parties, not because you want a gift, but because you want to know how excited they are for you. But I'm sure this happens a little bit for all brides, regardless of age. I just want you to know that if this happens to you, you are not alone, you are not a bad person for feeling sad or angry, you are human, and so is everyone else! Be extra thankful for those who were there for you, for those who got it, because those people will absolutely exist. (yay!) And be forgiving towards those who fell a little short, they didn't do it on purpose. Mentally prepare yourself to go through rough times, so that way if they do come, and unfortunately, in some form, they probably will. But they will come and go and when you look back, I promise you, they will not matter as much as you thought they did.
I KNOW...
some of these may seem like such a freaking bummer/terrible thing to say to someone who is about to enter one of the most exciting times in their whole life! But I was so thankful when I spoke with some of my married friends and they could relate to having rough times during wedding planning. If anything, I simply want it to be a comfort to you. A comfort in knowing that it's ok when planning isn't perfect, when you are not perfect, and when everything feels pointless. Because so truthfully...and I know if you are engaged you are hearing this ALL of the time...at the end of all of the madness, you will be married to the greatest guy. You will look back on planning and be thankful for the good times, thankful for the bad times, and most of all..thankful that it's over and that you are married and so happy! (see above photo!)
COMMENTS AND A GIVEAWAY!? WHAT!?
If you took the time to read all of this, first of all THANK YOU, second of all please leave a comment! If you've been through wedding planning ... give a pointer that you think most people don't want to hear or don't expect! If you are in the process, ask about something you have experienced that may have been less than ideal, I'm sure I, or someone reading, has experienced it too, and we will give you the best advice we can, or maybe just some comfort. If enough people post a comment I am prepared to do a giveaway! So make it happen people!
